It has been close to a year since I’ve last written. There is a part of me that questions why I’d even bother showing up here again, but today I had the urge to write, simple as that. So here I am. There’s also a piece of me that feels like I left you hanging with my last post. What became of that smiling, pregnant mom-of-two who was scared to death of adding a third? I’m happy to report- and I’m sure many of you predicted this- that my daughter, Meera Ann, has filled our lives with unimaginable joy. She is all that is good in our world. She is the happiest, easiest baby I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Waking up each morning with a big smile, she greets the day with boundless enthusiasm. She’s up for anything, and totally unaffected by the commotion of having two wild older brothers. In fact she loves it, and adores them wholeheartedly. She was early to crawl simply because she was so eager to keep up with them, and now she loves nothing more than being chased from room to room, shimmying as fast as she can as they yell, “We’re going to get you, Meera-boo!” She laughs and crawls, with surprising speed, as fast as her chunky little legs will go. We call her our “sassy lady” because she has such a big and hilarious personality, and she knows exactly what she wants.
Other parts of my life have taken a backseat, and sometimes, that can be hard, I’m not going to lie. Between mothering and being back to work nearly full-time, the days just fly by at an alarming speed. I crave creative outlet, yet there never seems to be enough hours in the day to dive into a sewing or knitting project. I squeeze in a workout once a week, but that just leaves me wanting more. I’d love to read a book or two but can’t muster up the concentration by the day’s end. Cooking has been pared down to its simplest form, basically whatever is fresh, healthy and takes 10 minutes to throw together. Tacos! Again! But I am happy. Exhausted each night, but deeply happy.
I’m reminded often of what my mom said to me when I first had kids, “You can have it all, just not at the same time.” Seasons…there is a season for everything and this is my season for mothering. Of course, you know me… I’ve got an amazing project up my sleeve and spent most of the holiday break squirreled away writing and putting the finishing touches on my manuscript, which is due this month. I’m writing a book exploring, through photographs, the colors and patterns of Rajasthan, and it will be published by Clarkson Potter in Spring 2020. I can hardly contain my excitement. I have a feeling it is going to be a game changer for me. It has been a deeply creative and energizing project, and I am so proud of how it is coming together.
In the midst of all of this, I have had this desire lately to freeze time and enjoy my children right now, at this age, in all their chaos and joy. I’ll be folding laundry and come across one of Meera’s little onesies and I’ll hold it to my chest for a moment, thinking about the fact that she’ll never be this tiny again, thinking about how fast it went with the boys, now 6 and 8, all long and lanky and bursting with newfound independence. It sorta breaks your heart, how fast time slips by. Yet when I see the boys out in the world, at school, playing with their friends, running up and down the soccer field, fearlessly taking on life, I feel a wave of pride at the people they are becoming. What an honor it is to have a front row seat to this incredible journey.
And thank you for checking in from time to time. It means the world to me.